No Vaccine For The Leading Cause Of Death In Women

It should scare the crap out of everyone that every single day 3 women are murdered by their partner (or ex-partner) or that one out of every 3 girls will experience domestic abuse in their lifetime.

I want to go into high schools, gather all the students together, get all the girls to form groups of 3 girls and then have one girl leave the group. Maybe it would hit home. Maybe if parents had a visual they would take it seriously. This is not confined to a “type” of woman, a class, or an age. It is an epidemic affecting women every where and it is not getting better.

If anything, even with all the public awareness campaigns reports of abuse have dropped but domestic homicides have gone up.

I think society, women, parents, still think, “Yes, it is horrible, yes, I know it happens in all cultures, all economic levels, and ages, and I don’t blame the victim…..but it would never happen to me (my daughter, my mother, my sister….).” Deep down the majority of society still views the victim as flawed somehow.

We all think we are special, if you are a father you think, “I’ll kill any bastard that lays a hand on my daughter.” A brother may think he would protect his sister. A parent might think they raised their daughter to never put up with shit from any man.

Take it from a woman who never took shit from men, who was self sufficient, confident, gainfully employed, and could do without a man in my life quite easily thank you! Believe me, at 41 years old, after never being in an abusive relationship in my life and kicking any man who tried to control me to the curb; it can happen to anyone!

Plus, I owned my home but I thought for sure if worse came to worse my mother would never let me be homeless or turn her back on me. I thought for sure my brother would defend me. As it turns out, people we think have our back often times turn their back on us when we need them the most.

One of the things that made me more vulnerable was the belief it could never happen to me. Me!? No way! I said it more than once, “If a man ever hit me I would be gone so fast his head would spin.”

I could not understand why women went back or why they didn’t charge the guy, and assumed it was because they weren’t as independent or strong as I was.

Once I was in an abusive relationship and kept going back, my confidence in shreds, I kept thinking, “If I can end up like this, how on earth would a younger less confident woman ever survive it?”

How do we change things? We teach our young girls that their worth is not wrapped up in whether they have a man or not. Women don’t “snag” or “catch” a man and the men don’t lose a damn thing when they get married. Women are not in a competition for a man and should be loyal and supportive of their gender.

We used to blame inequality for women staying with their abuser but that excuse doesn’t hold water any more.

We have to stop calling domestic homicide a “crime of passion” and stop romanticizing things like stalking. Stalking is NOT love, jealousy is not love, calling 25 times a day is not love. It is not cute and it should not be brushed off or ignored.

We need to educate young girls to recognize the early signs of an abusive man and not be flattered if he is possessive.

At a very young age that having a man does not give you value. You are not lacking anything if you don’t have a man. There is nothing wrong with you. And instead of trying to be the kind of woman a man wants, girls should be more concerned with, “is he the kind of man I want in my life?”.

There is nothing wrong with having high standards and a woman isn’t being a princess or too demanding to expect to be treated with respect. We have to teach our kids to respect each other and respect themselves.

I am not naive enough to think girls should be virgins when they get married and the human body is nothing to be ashamed of but seriously, teen age girls should not think they have to put out to get the guy. Music, movies, “reality tv” put too much emphasis on sex at an age when girls are just discovering their own bodies and dealing with their own hormones let alone trying to be “cool and grown up” about sex.

Mom’s stop sexualizing your daughters. Big sisters need to set an example for your little sister by not swooning over every guy.

The reality is; girls and boys are different hormonally, always have been, always will be. It is a scientifically proven fact that when women have sex with a man hormone called Oxytocin is released. Oxytocin is nicknamed “the cuddle hormone” and is proven to lower a woman’s defenses, making her more forgiving, she is more trusting and it also increases empathy.

A man releases the pleasure hormone, and once he has sex there is no long term hang over, whereas the woman, even if she wasn’t that nuts for the guy prior to having sex, she now sees him in a different light. She has unfounded trust in him and is blind to his flaws. That is why women will be heart broken over a relationship that only lasted a few dates if she was having sex with the guy. He is just there for a good time and thought they were on the same page, she is planning their wedding.

That is why a narcissist pushes for sex early in the relationship because he knows once he gets her into bed he has her hooked.

My dad used to say, “Boys give love for sex and girls give sex for love ” and it doesn’t work. We have to teach our girls this about themselves and explain why they have to wait until they know a man before having sex. Once those trusting thought patterns are formed it is very hard to change them and if a person isn’t even aware what’s happening, impossible to change and that is why women end up staying far too long in a toxic relationship.

The Making Of A Mass Murderer – Part 1




Mass shooters are the ones we hear about the most but there are mass murderers who use other means; such as bombs, as with the Boston Marathon; or a combination of guns and bombs.

Before we go any further lets look at the trait of a mass shooter/murderer

  • Statistically, 90% of mass murderers are white males and between the age of 20-30 Women tend to see violence as a self-defense mechanism if there is no other way out.  
  • White entitlement combined with economic anxiety. White people are socialized into believing that they are the superior race, they have high expectations for their own success, and are less able to cope with loss when they fail to achieve that success
  • Lower to middle class upbringing
  • Most are single or divorced
  • Many are highly intelligent if not geniuses
  • Almost all of them have a history of domestic abuse.
    Violence toward the women in their lives was the first warning sign of what was to come. It’s too bad no one in power was listening, but then domestic violence is still not recognized for the problem it is, with 1 in 3 women experiencing domestic abuse in her lifetime
  • Tend to isolate themselves, often described as being a loner

Many newspapers refer to the shooter as a narcissist. I have 18 years experience with them and it just does not fit. Many disorders display narcissistic traits, we all have narcissistic traits, some times more than other times depending on what is going on in our lives. When a person feels they lack mutual aid and protection, they are more likely to become focused on their own interests and welfare. That is, they become more self-centered. I see it in victims of domestic abuse all the time. I think the shooter may be pushed to his emotional limit by whatever circumstances (usually a divorce, job loss, or death of a loved one) and becomes self-obsessed. Yes, he blames everyone else for his problems but a narcissist considers himself superior to others and doesn’t really concern himself with what people think of him. Shooters are motivated by feelings of inferiority.

The narcissist has learned from a very early age to mimic the emotions of others and tends to blend into society extremely well. He can morph into any personality he chooses at any time. A narcissist feels genuinely entitled to special treatment and has no concern for the people he hurts in his attempts to get the things he wants or thinks he needs.  They are very vengeful but generally seek revenge in covert ways and only kill when they think they are going to be exposed for what they really are or lose control over the situation. Narcissists feel they are too special to commit suicide or self harm, they are usually quite charismatic and rarely ever seek help from a counselor, they simply don’t think they have any flaws or blame.

Whereas the shooters have a history of going to therapists/psychiatrists, depression, self harm, suicide attempts, feelings of inadequacy, paranoia about people being against them, and have isolated themselves from society.  

Mass killers do not just ‘snap.’ – it is a slow build up over time, sometimes years

  • Diaries of some shooters revealed a common feeling of rejection, being dismissed, disrespected and devalued by a group, either the popular crowd at school; or work mates and seeking vengeance for this perceived or real maltreatment.
  • They become paranoid, resentful, suspicious and spend their time alone ruminating about all the ways they have been mistreated, growing more resentful as time goes on. The more we think about something the deeper it embeds in the brain.
    (I have seen this happen often with victims of narcissistic abuse. They can’t stop ruminating about the narcissist and what he is doing now. They literally drive themselves crazy and it seems totally out of their control, it is all they think about. What happens is; the pathways to the brain get so embedded it is all their brain can think about. It becomes a vicious cycle because the more they think about him the deeper those pathway become and the more they think about him. Time does not heal them, they end up a year later obsessing even more. The only way to end it is to consciously retrain the brain to think of other things. If you don’t know you can retrain your brain and you are focused on how people keep humiliating and rejecting you, you would eventually become totally paranoid which would drive people further away, compounding the problem.) Driving the shooter further into isolation.
  • They finally start to fantasize about getting violent revenge.

“We also could do a lot more to prevent these attacks with a far more robust mental health system, and especially with mental health care that focuses on addressing toxic forms of masculinity.”

  • At this point they become a ticking time bomb so that when some major loss happens, the loss of a job or marriage break up, in Cruz’s case, his mother died
  • Social media is another huge contributor to the feelings of inadequacy. How many friends a person has, how many likes a person gets, online bullying, and the narcissistic fantasy world so many people project to live, plus the tendency for people to say things they would not say in person when they are behind a computer screen, all feed the shooter’s insecurities.

The further I investigated the more I was being led some where I had not really expected to go, but made total sense and led me to change the title of this post from Traits Of A Mass Shooter to The Making Of A Mass Shooter.

Everyone is blaming the NRA for the gun violence but there is one influencer far more powerful and with far more money than the NRA and that is Big Pharma.

I understand that people with mental illness battle the stigma attached to it and have suffered a lot of prejudice and misconception about things like Autism, Bi-Polar, Schizophrenia, simply going to a counselor can be cause for criticism. This post might not be too popular with some of those people but I am just reporting facts and what I know to be true from my experience and anyone is free to comment with a differing opinion as long as all comments are respectful and relevant.  I do believe people who have suicidal thoughts, spontaneous fits of rage or severe mood swings should probably not own a gun.

My personal experience with doctors is they are often quick to prescribe drugs because it is easier and I know damn well they are given perks for recommending certain drugs.  Even with my heart meds I had a hellish time for a year trying to convince the doctors that the side effects were so horrific I wanted to die, once I found a doctor who listened to me and changed my medication my health changed almost overnight. (and it was proven just last week when they read the printout from my defibrillator, on the old drugs in 6 months I had 84 heart episodes, 5 “events” and a major heart attack and they told me my only option was a heart transplant. After 6 months on the new meds, I had 1 episode, period). If you are mentally unstable you are not going to necessarily realize it is your drugs making you sick and doctors tend to just prescribe more drugs to counteract the other drugs.

Adding to the problem is, society has a “quick fix” mentality also, if you are still crying two weeks after your marriage ended friends are pretty quick to say “Maybe you should get something from the doctor just to get through this”, “You really need to just get over it and move on.” I have talked to enough victims of narcissistic abuse through my other blog and I am constantly amazed how many of them are two weeks out and upset because they don’t feel like dating yet. I have had people suggest I get an anti-depressant at different times in my life. I see no point in medicating myself when I have every right to be depressed. If I had no reason to be depressed or stressed I could see it.

I think often times the side effects are worse than the illness.

With the Las Vegas shooter, they had not been able to come up with one common indicator or trait that fit the profile of a mass shooter, no domestic abuse, not known to police, had money, he was a preferred customer at the casino. An autopsy revealed Stephen Paddock had anti-anxiety drugs (benzodiazepines, commonly known to cause aggression) in his system.

The data on all mass shooters is incomplete because police have not been told to investigate the case from that angle and rumor has it, the people who did make the connection were quickly hushed. For sure Big Pharma does not want the truth to come out, there is a lot of money being made pushing anti-depressants and drugs like Ritalin. In every single one of the mass shooters or mass murderers, plus numerous singular homicides where the information was recorded; the shooter was on a psychiatric drug. There are over 30 cases of mass school violence where the shooter was either on or withdrawing from psychiatric drugs.

Don’t miss my next post on drugging our kids and making them into mass murderers.


American Psychiatric Association: Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th Edition.